If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
