Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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