NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
