did you get engaged???
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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