Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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