dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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