He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
