I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
