my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
