You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
