i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize