ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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