i can't believe i had my finger in that
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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