We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
