he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
