they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
