you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
