I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
