Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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