Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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