I heard we made out
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
