i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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