Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
