As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
