it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
