I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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