Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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