i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What a dumb baby whore.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
