i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
