I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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