I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
