you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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