True but thats because hes a fetus.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is Oprah even human
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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