I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
