she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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