Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
