have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
