I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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