I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
