Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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