Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize