Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
