I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
