Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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