Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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