It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
