It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
