I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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