Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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