We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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