There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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