worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
