it wasn't lemon gatorade
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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