he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
