But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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