Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
