420 ftw
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize