Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
