what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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