Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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