Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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