he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
