Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
