Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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