Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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