Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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