found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They have beer where we have blood.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize