The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
