I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
