Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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